


Better Off

by moonyandthestar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, i honestly just wanted an excuse to insert this first kiss i wrote months ago, sad boys, tw: Mentions of Suicide, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 16:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13438434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonyandthestar/pseuds/moonyandthestar
Summary: Sirius finds himself in the Astronomy Tower, wallowing in yet another wave of depression. Of course, Remus is the one to find him.okay I wrote this first kiss a while ago and I honestly just wrote this to add substance to it so I could let it off in the worldtw: mentions of suicide





	Better Off

     Sirius wasn't suicidal. Still, he did think it might be easier if he just got it over with and offed himself, but he wasn't  _suicidal._ Mostly, because of the fact that his parents hadn't managed to torture him to death, he decided that it was up to fate that he lived.

     

     Freshly disowned, disinherited, and confirmed unloved, sixteen-year-old Sirius Black was a changed man. Sure, in the past few years, he was always the life of the party. And he didn't just play the part, either - he really  _felt_ exhilarated, lively...loved. Yes, the Potters had taken him in with open arms the past summer, and yes, for all intents and purposes, James was his brother, and yes, he hated his parents. But, it still hurt Sirius, knowing that his parents didn't love him. And, seemingly, neither did his brother. Because that's what family is supposed to do, right? Love each other? Wrong.

 

     So, yes - under all pretenses, Sirius Black was depressed. It wasn't  _unbearable_ or anything; his melancholia came in waves. However, he now sat in the Astronomy tower alone, staring at the night sky, at his star, allowing himself to be encompassed by anything and everything that wouldn't remind him of his own life, just for a little while. He had made sure to take the damned map with him too, as he didn't want any company at the moment. He didn't think he could handle James trying to 'talk it out'. God, did Sirius love him, but he was always right, and always made Sirius see how he was in the wrong, and Sirius thought it was really fucking annoying. 

 

     As if the gods had heard his thoughts and said,  _Sirius be damned, might as well drive the stake in further,_ a pair of footsteps could be heard coming up the winding stair case that lead to the aforementioned tower. Sirius cursed under his breath, and turned to see who was infiltrating on his time alone.

 

 _Well, maybe I wouldn't mind_ some  _company,_ Sirius thought as a familiar freckled face came into view. All long limbs and electric tawny curls, Remus Lupin sauntered over and sat beside Sirius quietly.

 

     "Hey," Remus started, his voice barely above a whisper, "I thought I might find you up here."

 

     "Well, you clearly thought right, didn't you Lupin," Sirius snapped. He let out a slow breath, and amended his former slip. "Sorry, just...just in a wave today, you know how it is." The thing is, Remus did know how it was. Sirius was acutely aware that Remus was the only one that understood his sorrow; Lupin was bitten by a werewolf whose main goal was to spite his father at the age of five, and his father subsequently couldn't  _really_ love him. Didn't help that he was a great sodding  _werewolf-_ most people probably wouldn't love him. Thus, the two often sought each other's company when in a fit of sadness, and they both knew when the other needed comfort, without even having to be asked.

 

     Remus slung an arm around the raven-haired boy's shoulder, and said, "Yeah, 'm not having a great day either. Fuck the moon, and all the usual slander." This, of course, got Sirius to smile weakly - Remus could always get Sirius to smile - and lean in to the wolf's touch. 

 

     Sirius turned his face upward to meet Remus' eyes. "After we're out of here, and James goes off and gets married to Evans, and Peter does, well, whatever the fuck Peter does, it'll be you and I against the world, right Moony?"

 

     "Of course, Padfoot my dear," Remus said quietly, cheeks flushed. "We'll be a force to be reck-"

 

     Before Lupin could finish his statement, Sirius, on a whim, pressed his lips to the taller boy's, slowly, softly.

 

     If Remus' heart didn't stop,  it definitely skipped a beat. Sirius cupped his face in his hands, and moved his lips in a perfect rhythm. At Sirius' every touch, every word, every smile...Remus felt near heart attack. Now, with Sirius' soft lips on his, it was like space and time vanished. Sirius was the stars, and Remus was the sky, and together they created galaxies. They moved in sync, like two parts of a broken whole, who've finally found their other half. Each boy craved the other, like some animalistic need, and they stayed with locked lips for Merlin knows how long- time didn't matter, nothing and no one mattered, as long as they had each other.

 

~ _fin~_

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for my abuse of commas, I couldn't help it.  
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated, thank you!  
> Follow me on twitter @sinsberg


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